Back in Black

It has been well over a year since my last post.  This is not one of those posts about “Oh, I’m so sorry that I have been so busy.”  Nope.  That is not this.  I had a really tough year.  I thought about coming back to my blog multiple times, but I did not feel like I was ready.  I like to blog when I’m in tune with my work and myself.  I like to blog when I feel excited and inspired.  I knew I would come back to it at some point. 

I guess that today is that day.  I actually feel a little bit like celebrating as I am writing this!

In the past year I became divorced, I became a single mom, I moved, I traveled a ton, I read a ton, I wrote a book, I met some amazing people, I started art journaling, I learned how to distance myself from unhealthy relationships, I worked hard, I took a lot of pictures that I will treasure for a lifetime, I got into the whole “minimalist” thing, I increased my generosity, I bought a hammock, I expanded my yoga practice, I started Spanish classes again, I started running outside, I have been painting again, I decided not to be “busy” so I can say “YES” to anything I choose (or no!), I have made wellness a focus of my family, I take time for myself, I tell it like it is, and I have grown up a lot overall (just to name a few).

All of these changes have launched me into a new phase of my life, and have catapulted my counseling practice into a new and exciting space.

I was shocked to see that my blog was still getting views and love even though I was absent in tending it.  Thank you.

So… without further ado…

Back to Business!!

We meditate A LOT in group.  The way we do it combines a variety of interventions that I have taken from here and there over the years. 

I call it “Dead Man.”  This may sound morbid, but I’ve learned from experience that adding silly names to interventions makes it fun for the kids.  It is easy for them to remember.  Plus, it is pretty funny for me when they say, “Ms. Jessica!! We want to do Dead Man!!”  ALL of my clients LOVE this by the way.

We start by spreading out around the room.  I like for them to lie on a solid carpeted floor.  I have found that they do much better relaxing their bodies this way then on cushions or couches.

I walk around while they begin getting relaxed and give them each a “SQUIRT” of my magic calming lotion.  It is actually just lotion that I had made up with essential oils of lavender and peppermint.  This is inspired by a theraplay intervention with a little aromatherapy mixed in.  They take this part very seriously and they love to explain it to new members of the group.

We do not sit in a traditional seated “criss cross apple sauce” meditation pose.  Instead, I have my clients lie in savasana yoga pose (also known as Corpse Pose).  You basically lay on your back with arms and legs stretched out like a gingerbread man and your eyes are closed.  Palms are facing up.
  

This is why we call it “Dead Man.”

Source: Honolulu Yoga 

I turn off the lights, but leave the room bright enough that I can see every child for safety.  If one of them is struggling, I will sit by them and rub their hands or their temples until they relax.  Appropriate physical touch is an important part of my counseling practice.  I begin leading them in a guided meditation.  All of the medications I make up focus on taking the kids to a calm, safe place and leave plenty of room for their own interpretations of what that may look like.  After I have finished this part, I instruct them to stay in their safe place for a little while and relax or play there in their minds.  They can usually complete a full, silent medication as a group for about five minutes.  When they start getting restless I instruct them to begin waking up their bodies.  They all get up calmly and we move on to our next group activity. 

I often tie the mediation in with this week’s theme so we can easily use it as inspiration for an art project or the start of a process session. 

I know what you are thinking… The kids I work with WOULD NEVER do that!  I know.  I know.  I have done this with some VERY active children with severe trauma.  They all love it.  I think the trick is to start slow, make it special, and use LOTS of encouragement.  Like I said earlier, my clients beg me to do this often, and I allow them to teach new group members our process.  This peer modeling and interaction helps to keep this tradition going as my group population turns over.

All of my kids face tough challenges.  I love to provide a short space in their day where they can calm, center, imagine, and DREAM.

Thank you for you.  Thank you for your time.  Pass along your undivided attention and love to someone today.

-jessica

Link to Theraplay Website

Source

Breaking Out Into Song

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season.  I still don't feel fully back into the swing of things yet!

I know that I often blog about my plans for group.  Today, however, I want to talk about the importance of letting the group evolve into what it needs to be.  I always come to group with a plan, but I am also okay with the group going in a totally different direction than I anticipated.  These are often my most productive, insightful, and memorable experiences with my clients.

This week I was trying to get my kids to complete an activity to work on active listening skills.  It was just not going.  We have many play therapy items in the group room we are currently working in which can often be a distraction.  Just as I put my forehead into my hands to regroup and figure out a new plan, one of my kids started playing maracas.  Another one started on a drum, and the rest joined in clapping, slapping their legs, and rhythmically banging on things around them.  My coworker came into the room and started belting out a soulful version of "Brick house."  

**I obviously had to YouTube this while writing.  Gotta love the Commodores for a little pick me up!!**

Everyone let loose and really got into the music.  We were singing, dancing, and drumming our hearts out until we were rolling on the floor laughing.  It was definitely one of the highlights of my week!  I could have never planned that in a million years...  it was the synergy of the group.  Magical!

I hope that you have a chance to break out in song this week... no matter what you had originally planned  :) 

"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp." 

Psalm 149,3

Loving People Where They Are At

"Just love them where they are at."

This is a common thing you hear if you work with people, children, or if you interact with anyone else. It is a great goal to strive for, but sometimes it is more difficult than others.

The kids I work with often gauge their self-worth upon other's interactions with them.  We try very hard to help them to gain the insight and empathy to understand that other people's actions and interactions may have absolutely nothing to do with them.  You cannot control what others do, but you CAN control how you act.

We reward kindness, helping people out, encouraging others, and offering support when they recognize that one of their group members is not being themselves.

The cohesion and support system between our group members is one of the things that I am the most proud of.  I was having lunch with a few of them this week that prefer to eat together in my office than in the cafeteria (many of them get in trouble in unstructured settings so I often use this as an option when they are not feeling totally in control of their behavior).  One of the kids said, "Our group feels like a little family."  80% of my clients have a parent that is incarcerated.  90% live in a single parent home.  Offering extra structure and support in this area is beyond my expectations of what our group can provide, but somehow these resilient children produce a safe haven for each other.

I came across this video today and had to share it.  The simple premise is... just love people.  Sure, there are consequences for bad behavior, but who says that your response to someone is an efficient consequence to them?  How many times have you said something you regret that did not accomplish the goal you intended?  You feel bad, and that person just thinks you are a jerk.  If you really care about someone enough to teach them about their behavior, follow these two steps...

1. Support them and let them calm down

2. Have a teachable moment later when you are both calm and they are open to receiving the information

For Example;

"Hey Johnny, I know you were probably kidding yesterday, but you were moody and your jokes hurt my feelings.  I am sensitive about that subject.  Please do not joke about it again."

Instead of name calling towards Johnny, you are explaining how what he did effected you.  This promotes empathy, understanding, and a deepening of relationship if Johnny is able to accept this concern.  If he is not able to accept your vulnerability, he may not be ready for the depth of relationship that you are.

With this in mind, please enjoy the following video.  Happy Weekend :)

Getting children ready to go back to school

As with any upcoming change, it is important to let kids share their excitment, concerns, fears, and stories.  Outline what your children can expect this school year, and list exciting parts of the grade they are going to.

Some activities our group is doing to prepare for school....

Observations, Inferences, and Predictions derived from school themed pictures
See post here on "Picture of the Day - Activity" from Science Notebooking

5 minute meditation from "Meditations for Children and Teens"
Think Like A Great Student

Creating a Fall Bucket List
Like this one from KatieBalla Love of Life

Here are a few books that are great for going back to school, transitions, bullying, and self-esteem.  I know I have mentioned at least one of them before, but I just love all three of these.

Click here to purchase on Amazon

Click here to purchase on Amazon

Click here to purchase on Amazon

Lastly, encourage your children to read, write, get back on a schedule, and anything else that will help them to feel confident and successful in returning to school.  Take their picture the first day.  Make a special dinner or breakfast.  Celebrate this next stage in their lives with them.

One of the best ways for children to retain information is to speak about things as if the child cannot hear you.  Always speak positively about your child's teacher, school staff, school, and other authority figures.  Tell your spouse (just within earshot of your child),  "I'm so excited that Susie is going to have Ms. So-and-So for her teacher!  She was my first choice.  She will do wonderful this year in 1st Grade!"  If there is a conflict with the school, address it between the adults.  Many parents are surprised when their children have been disrespectful at school, but those same parents will look at me with their children right beside them and say negative things about their teacher, school, principal.  If you do not respect their teachers, do not be surprised when you get a phone call from the school reporting that your child does not either.

Back to school is such an exciting time.  If your child is anxious about starting a new school year, listen to their concerns.  Do not belittle or deny that the concerns are valid.  Listen, lean in, and say "can you tell me a little more about that?"  Let them talk out what they need to and use you as their support system.  Sometimes, we all just need to feel heard.

"Let the wise listen and add to their learning" Proverbs 1, 5

"Sam Feels Better Now!" Two Week Group Curriculum

"Sam Feels Better Now!" is a wonderful interactive story written by Jill Osborne.  It is perfect for a 10 day or 2 week group.  There are 8 interactive exercises in the book.  I worked with the kids on four exercises the first week, one for each day, and then reviewed on Friday.  We followed the same pattern the second week.

Activities include themes of identifying the feelings of fear internally and externally, disclosing trauma, and then rebuilding trust and safety.

Click Here to Purchase on Amazon!

On the last day, I handed out a reward certificate to each client.  They were all very excited as many of them do not regularly earn rewards at school despite them all being extremely intelligent and creative.

On a separate note, I have began incorporating a saying that I borrowed from one of the fabulous teachers I work with.  When reading she will say "You made a connection!"  She does this when they relate something in the book to a personal story, something similar they have learned, or even about the construction of a word or sentence.  I have started pointing out to clients when "You made a connection!" when they are able to apply insight or to relate the material to other areas of their lives.

A new thing that has started happening is that clients run (literally run ;) into group shouting

"Ms. Jessica!!! I made a connection today!"

They then share how they have implemented something we have been working on or that they have recognized it in others.

This small addition of a sentence has increased insight for many clients.  I am so thankful to teachers like Ms. Elmore whose compassion and creativity inspire me everyday :)

"Ascribe to the Lord, O families of nations, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength, ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name."  1 Chronicles, 16:28-29

My Power Switch!
Addressing Anxiety and Trauma Reactions

In group last week we discussed what it is like to be flooded with emotion, how to express this, and then how to "Turn our switch OFF."

First, we read a wonderful book called Please Explain "Anxiety" To Me!

Please click on the following link to see the article written based on the material here in The Digital Journal, "Therapy for Kids -- Turning the Power Switch On"

It takes children (and parents) through the flight, fight, and freeze model.  It helps kids to share and discuss the feeling of being overtaken by their emotions through their sympathetic nervous systems.  This is often a difficult experience to explain, but this book makes it simple and relatable.

Click Here to Purchase Through Amazon

We then used BioDots to show our level of anxiety before and after calming skills.  We completed a different calming skill each day including deep breathing, yoga, meditation, playing outside, and talking to a friend.

Click Here to Purchase Through Amazon

Lastly, on Friday I introduced a new activity.  Instead of the Brown Grab Bags, we used Story Cubes.  The kids LOVED these!  They have also been very successful in individual therapy this week, and they are super compact for site-based work.

So much fun!

Client Here to Purchase Through Amazon

Such an exciting week.  The children not only were able to realize when their switch was on, but noticed it in others as well!  Building empathy is a huge hurdle for many children, and this theme opened this door for many group members.  It helped parents to relate to what it is like for their children to be flooded with emotion.  We will definitely be repeating this week's material very soon.  Our "Power Switch" has become a staple in our group vocabulary.

"Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress.  He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.  They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.  Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men."
Psalm 107, 28-31

No More Nightmares

This Haiku Deck Slideshow is based on research on this topic as well as healthy suggestions to improve sleep patterns and behavior.  It is intended for children with PTSD symptoms, disturbances of sleep, chaotic home lives, and nightmares.  Please consider you audience and consult a professional before applying all material here.

I have always been a Lucid Dreamer so this information is comfortable for me to talk about.  This three day group curriculum lead to 4 of my 11 clients sharing stories of lucid dreaming to overcome recurring nightmares.  Sure, kids always have a chance to embellish their stories or want to please, but even the fact that they would understand the concept enough to do that is impressive.  Either way, all of the children reported "no nightmares" since the start of this program.

They also have begun using their dream journals as a unique and personal point of reference for writing and art.

Lastly, some of this is just my opinion and experience.  The point isn't to be perfectly empirically supported.  The point is for children to build a safe place physically and emotionally to give them the best chance of having a good night's rest.  As we all know, a good night's sleep can make all the difference!

Also, it inspired me to paint my bedroom purple :)

Enjoy...

If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Proverbs 3, 24

"I Need to Initiate a Crisis"

I knew this was coming.  I felt the calm before the storm.  In the past few weeks, two clients have come to me that are going to be extremely challenging and will need all of the resources that our team can offer.  I have spent the past week completing trainings, reading everything relevant I can find, consulting, studying, putting together material for my team, purchasing tools, and preparing myself for how these next couple of months are going to unfold.

In grad school I learned something very valuable from one of my instructors.  I had a client during my first semester of practicum that was rebellious, resistant, unmotivated, verbally disrespectful, aggressive, and not interested in applying any change to his life.  He was court-ordered to attend our sessions and unwilling to participate or interact with me.  I struggled through this for two sessions before bringing it to my supervisor and mentor.  I was hopeful that she would recommend that he be transferred to another student.

She told me that this would be the client that would transform me into the therapist that I needed to be.  She said that not every client will work with every clinician, but that every clinician should be able to work with every client.  She said that I needed to "get creative and adjust."  

She nick-named the client "Tony Hawk" and his treatment was indeed transformative for us both.  There are classrooms behind the two-way mirrors in our university clinic that allowed other students, supervisors, and professors to observe sessions.  As I moved from practicum student to intern, this client became a very popular client on the schedule.  By the time he graduated from the program, we had a packed house in the classroom and everyone was rooting for "Tony" and I.

I had found my rock star moment.  It is being able to adapt to serve the needs of my clients even when we are worlds apart.

In the past 12 months I have been feeling somewhat complacent and comfortable in my practice.  I have not had any crisis issues at work that were new or different.  My mind has become busy with paperwork, regulations, acquiring the right therapy tools, and planning my groups.  In the middle of September, I was noticing that I had not had a "Tony Hawk" in a while.  I had a moment of appreciating the calm, but I understood that this moment would be short-lived.

I was hungry for my next challenge.  In the next few months I will be frustrated by the lack of peace, but then I must remember that in the calm I desired adventure.

I was going to blog this week about some of my new tools and trainings.  I plan on doing that, but I felt like there needed to be a bridge to explain the shift in focus.  To my teammate and friend, Elaine, thank you for putting up with me.  I love and respect you so much.

"We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, you labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 1:3

Resilience... Letting Your Light SHINE!

2 Week Resilience Curriculum for Group Therapy

Week 1: Understanding

Monday
Define...

Introduce this week's theme, define resilience, talk about events that clients have had to overcome, and things they are dealing with today.  Discuss resilience as an adjective and how people, places, and things can all be resilient.

We will be using a lot of light inspired activities to encourage "Letting your light SHINE!"  Today we will introduce the light table and allow clients to manipulate the light through color.  After everyone has a turn we will tie this in to how we can use our light to manipulate our emotions, reactions, and level of "calm and happy."

Picture Credits:
http://pinterest.com/pin/11540542766428992/
http://pinterest.com/pin/11540542766429013/
http://www.teachpreschool.org/2011/11/exploring-the-light-table-in-preschool/

Tuesday
Fair vs. Equal

Explain fair versus equal, how each person is given their own unique set of challenges, and how they can overcome these.  Looking inside to overcome instead outside to compare and develop resentment and anger.  Then watch a short YouTube video that further explains this idea...

Fair vs Equal Resiliency Video

Picture Credit:
http://msfultz.blogspot.com/

Wednesday and Thursday
Cinematherapy activity.  If you and your children/students/clients have not seen this video... you need to!  It is such a great movie, and has themes of resilience!

Friday
Review and take the Resiliency Quiz!

How resilient are you? QUIZ

WEEK 2: Application of Knowledge

Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday
Craft project of creating lanterns.  My lovely MHPP (and partner in crime) had the idea of adding battery powered lights to each so that we would have hanging luminaries in the group room.  We will really get into processing trials that clients have and are currently facing.  We will work together as a group to support each other and apply interventions to build resiliency.  The finished project will be an opportunity to "Let our Light Shine" when things seem difficult and overwhelming.

Balloon Tutorial

Thursday
Read "Pete the Cat, I Love My White Shoes" and tie it in with our resiliency theme!

Here’s a synopsis of the story...

I purchased it for my iPad so I can also share it with my individual clients who are not in my group.  I love the interactive features!!

Friday
Review and Reward.  Reward, Reward, Reward!  My favorite part of reviewing is hearing how clients are implementing skills into their daily lives and the impact it is having on them and those around them :)

Related Reading...

All of these books are available on www.amazon.com .

This was such a fun theme to research and brings out so much positive in the kids.  I can't wait to see what parts are their favorites and how they respond to the curriculum!

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Romans 5, 3-4