I feel _________________ when you ____________________ .
For example...
I feel hurt when you call me names.
I feel sad when you push me.
I feel lonely when you do not let me sit with you at lunch.
I feel happy when we play together.
I feel loved when you give me a hug, mommy.
I feel special when you smile.
This simple message is very powerful. It helps kids to give words to their emotions. It points out cause and effect. It prevents back and forth name calling. It prevents power struggle between children and adults. It helps adults understand how a child is feeling so that they can help. The first thing I ask children when they bring a conflict to me is "Did you use your iMessage?" Their faces usually go from angry to thoughtful. This is followed by an expression of need and often an apology.
"Tattling" is a common complaint about children that struggle with impulsivity. The general rule I lay out is:
1-2-Step!
Use your iMessage twice and then take it up with a safe adult. 1-2-Step. Once the issue has been reported, the 1-2-Step starts over again. This helps children be deliberate with their iMessage, and it improves understanding how much to involve their teacher or parent.
For group this week we are going to work on "Rock Problems and Play-Doh Problems"
Rock problems are stable and unable to be changed or manipulated.
Play-Doh Problems can be changed, formed, shaped, and shared.
Expressing emotions with Play-Dh and Googly Eyes. I have used this activity many times in the past and the kids love it. It is great for teaching iMessage as well.
For the next activity, I'm going to ask the group to write the Positive Rock issues on one hand and their Rock Challenges on the other. We will cut them out to reveal the heart in the middle. I will give them Play-Doh to fill in their heart and discuss how our perspective CAN effect our Rock Problems.
A fun fall activity thrown in! Sometimes it is nice to bring out an art project and just throw out questions and conversation starters that are relevant to this week's topic. I really enjoy asking children how the skills they are learning are positively impacting their lives. I encourage them to share ways that they are utilizing the material at school and at home. An unrelated art project helps the conversation to feel very natural and client led.
The WorryWoos Books by Andi Green are probably my favorite line of books for therapy with kids. The watercolor pictures are inspiring, and it plays to my alice and wonderland whimsical obsession. "The Lonely Little Monster" is a perfect book for this week's theme. Nola feels completely trapped and isolated by what could be called her "Rock Problems." She is able to change her world in the end by changing her perspective (her Play-Doh Power!). These books are so well written and illustrated. I cannot say enough positive things about them and the role they have played in my client's lives.
The website also has a coloring sheet for each book.
On Friday we will do the review bags again. They have been working great, and the kids are being more and more creative with their stories. I hand out a bag filled with random objects to each small group. They create and share a story with the items given that is relevant to this week's them. Some of the kids like to act out their stories, which I love. I have such a wonderful and brilliant group of children right now, and this activity gives them an opportunity to let their creativity and teamwork shine!
The word "wisdom" was brought to me three times this week. All three times it was in the context of leading a Godly Life over knowledge. I love a planned coincidence, and I am open to how this lesson is unfolding in my life. Thank you to those messengers this week as they bring so much more than friendship.
"Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline, and understanding."
Proverbs 23, 23
